Be Still

I am a fidget;
sitting still is not easy for me
and I can’t get comfortable
and then, there is my mind.

Regularly, I say to myself, that I hate my brain. I shouldn’t; we are not enemies, we are one and the same. It was created fearfully and wonderfully – that verse is not just about body image.

I have a brain which networks ideas, people, conversations, places and more; seemingly instantaneously. I have a mind that seeks out ways to release people, sifting through phrases to see their key barriers. I have a brain that creates, writes, draws, realises, seeks. Sometimes it feels as if I have a brain where finding the off button is impossible.

I am not so much anxious, more overwhelmed.

It is why I write, why I talk, why I need people to hear my ideas. Conversely, it’s also why I need space, silence, solitude.

Be Still
Last week my mind actually ached! Worry invaded and so my creativity had become solution focussed, constantly thinking up ideas and options; I could not gain focus. It was as if mind maps were exploding in my brain and I was trying to walk down every path all at once. I was ratty, clumsy, clinging to inane TV and social media scrolling to try and numb my mind. Note to self- this only delays it does not deal!

I felt all colours of guilt; “I know I should go to God, but I haven’t spent time with him, and maybe if I just think this through, then I’d have space to think about him, to pray, but I can’t empty my mind…”.  On and on and on and:

breathe. close the door. dim the light. open the book. read just a morsel.
Isaiah 43:1.
Philippians 4:6.
James 4:8
“That’s enough”. I copy the verses into my journal, I say “thank you”, I close the journal. That’s the devotional time ticked off my to do list.

Be Still
I saw at that moment what I was becoming: someone who can reel of verses, heart them on Instagram, write them as a status but not on my heart. Yet I know, it’s not about completing but about being. It is about allowing His presence to change my heart, my mind.

“Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all”

Be Still
I re-opened my journal, “draw close” “fix your eyes on me” “I am present in the challenge, the chaos”. My beautiful mind, knew instantly what to do.


I wrote everything out, everything in my mind. I walked down every line of thought with my pen, then back again to the centre. There a core truth emerged as I drew close and cleared away the clutter:

You are faithful, you are good, you provide, I am loved by you

and I was still

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Pat Clippingdale. says:

    Lou: Ouch! So much that I recognise. And he says to me
    “Be still and know ….. I AM GOD ……”

    Often at the close of a day, tired and wanting elusive sleep I whisper to my Father:

    “Dear Lord and Father of mankind
    Forgive my foolish ways;
    Reclothe me in my rightful mind;
    Purified life your service find,
    In deeper reverence, praise.

    Drop your still dews of quietness,
    Till all my strivings cease;
    Take from my soul the strain and stress,
    Let my ordered life confess
    The beauty of your peace.

    Breathe through the heat of my desire
    Your coolness and your balm
    Let sense be dumb, let flesh retire;
    Speak through the earthquake, wind and fire
    O still small voice of calm!
    ( my version of the old hymn we sang at school)

    And as I let go and leave space, without fail, He does speak with me.
    As I listen and heed what he says and am obedient life is a beautiful experience.

    Actually it was the way Jesus Christ operated during his earthly life.

    During a book “thinning” time I re-discovered a leaflet book “Meditative Prayer” by Richard
    Foster (author of “Celebration of Discipline”) ok, it’s old but this 31 page booklet is jam-packed
    with creative and practical wisdom. The ISBN is 0 946797 15 2

    Keep on enjoying life and all that it delivers.
    Pat X

    1. lou says:

      Thank you Pat xx I think we have to remind ourselves of it often! Otgwrwise he sneaks up on us to remind!!

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