[blocked]

As I wrote my last post, I knew exercise wasn’t the only place I lacked self-discipline. My foray into the Netflix trial showed my worst attributes. Much as I have no problem with a good box set binge or film-athon, what was concerning me was this deep longing I was feeling towards it. the sofa had become a saviour to me, a place of refuge, comfort, sloth.

I was not being disciplined

I pretended this was about resting well, about not having time for other things… In reality [I was] sinking into my sofa, eating poorly, slacking of commitments to myself “because I had not energy! Yet nothing I was doing brought me energy – I was avoiding people, hanging out with food I am intolerant to, setting aside both my spiritual and physical health and then wondering why I felt so low.

I knew I had to do something to cut this cycle off. Having worked 14 days in a row, I was welcoming a day off; and I needed to remove myself from watching TV

Monday 12th June, 2017

T’Shuva: to turn around, head towards God. What am I heading towards at the moment?

I think I have a social media addiction

I had planned to take the morning offline, yet sitting in a cafe reading and writing I constantly felt the urge to reach down

for my phone

The thing I had noticed, during my thirty days, was how much time I spent on social media. I wasn’t just watching TV, I was scrolling constantly too.

As I sat in this cafe, I realised this had become an addiction – I was reaching for my phone with no reason, it was habitual, I didn’t realise how often I was doing it, I didn’t realise how much I needed its hit until I needed to let go.

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Yet how did I let go when it is so much part of my work life and social life? Of course, I googled it and found this article. I already don’t use my phone as an alarm clock but I had started to go through to my lounge and check it as soon as I was up in the morning! Not only was this wasting time, but it was uninspiring, unmotivating and underwhelming. I realised this addiction was what was sapping me of energy and creativity. Added to this my spiritual life was being set aside, instead of fixing my mind on good words, I was wondering what __ status meant, and why no one had liked my picture…

signs of an addiction, it doesn’t make me feel good anymore, but I still do it

I wasn’t free from my addiction, so I followed the article’s advice and settled on activating the following:

Checking with purpose: that I was not doing! It is fine I use social media for work and contact. I just need to use it purposefully and not just endlessly scroll. I am trying to focus on one task at a time with maybe music/podcasts in the background. (Household tasks are still accompanied by TV – not ready for that transition just yet

Tough Editing: Deciding why I am posting something. this was already something I did, but now I am also asking myself – will this make me want to constantly check back? If yes and it’s not important to share – I try not to post it!

Respond offline: At the beginning of the year, I posted about writing letters! I love doing this but again I was not making time for this. I am starting to try and respond to birthdays and good news offline (plus it stops those endless notifications of everyone writing “Congratulations!” on the same status)

Alter Your Settings: This was the biggie for me! The one that has shown up my addiction the most. I have an android phone so went to google play and found appblocker! I set three profiles of when I want to be productive. 8am – 10am (avoiding the morning ritual), 4pm-6pm (avoiding the want to slack off or check as soon as I get home) and weekend (avoiding wasting my free time!). It can be turned off (which I have genuinely sometimes needed to do) and I am thinking about hiding the app on my screen so this is harder to be tempted to do. The more steps it takes to turn an app back on, the more I have to think about its purpose.

Set other Goals: the reality was, it started because I was tired, and it started because I was bored. Recently in my bullet journal, I have been trialling setting evening goals for the days that I have no commitment. These can be things like: finish a book, listen to a podcast, discover new music, write, sing, make…. Making a plan means I am less likely to be distracted. When I am doing that thing – I can set the appblocker on a ‘one off’ activation. At the weekends I am trying to get out more, making plans before Saturday arrives rather than vegging out (unless it’s a planned vegging out!)

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I am heading in the right direction! I think I will need to continue to review my battle plan though every now and then! But I want a life that is abundant, endless scrolling has no purpose, no peace and no joy! That is not the kind of abundance I want!!

Let me know your tips for killing your addiction!

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