Sometimes, the best thing to do is not the easiest.
I was invited to a wedding, and days before, I can feel that familiar voice creep in, “you are going to be single at a wedding”. Who am I kidding – it was there from the moment the invite arrived, whispering, mocking, encouraging me to withdraw.
I always wanted to go, there was never a moment where this was not true. Nevertheless, the voice would catch me off guard when I was alone, tired and lonely. It told me it would be awkward, it told me it wasn’t worth it, it told me I would look stupid, it told me a lot of lies; and thank God I was not having any of it!
It was fear speaking to me, fear mixed with doubt and those core lies that know how to trip me up! I called out to my ever-present help.
God is our refuge & strength, an ever present help in times of trouble.
Some of you who know me will be confused. I am, an extrovert, I am able to approach new people and there were people I knew at this wedding; even if they weren’t my immediate friendship group. I am also, however, someone who worries they will be a burden on people; I wouldn’t want this group that I knew would be there to feel they had to join me in! I needn’t have worried – the bride has welcoming and inclusive friends. Which shouldn’t be a surprise, because this is exactly how she is, and it will be how they are.
My desire to celebrate the wedding of my beautiful, wonderful friend far outweighed my need to self-sabotage. She is a hope bringer. When I have needed my head lifted she has been someone God has used to do that. She is a joy-increaser, a woman of hospitality, incredible generosity with a bold heart, a hard worker, adventure seeker and so much more. The voice of lies stood no chance. More than that my refuge and strength, my ever-present help promised me that
Therefore I need not fear, even if the earth gave way
Even if I felt alone, even if no one included me, He would lead me to a river of joy & gladness. He was with me, I would not fall. He would help me. He would be with me through it all, and He was. Moreover, He gave me people as a blessing too!
Sometimes, the best thing to do is not the easiest, but it’s totally worth it.